The old woman sews steadily by the dimly lit candle as she rocks slowly back and forth; back and forth. Bent over, intent on her work, she barely looks up as she moves her hand gracefully up, then down, the needle sliding through the fabric and dancing with the thread. The light flickers and casts eerie shadows upon the walls, but the old woman does not seem to notice. She hears no sound, sees no sight other than what lies before her. Creak. Crack. Creak. Crack. The rocking chair keeps the constant rhythm between the floor boards. A coffee mug sits empty upon the wooden table beside her, containing nothing but cold stains. And on and on she continues her work, never losing her focus.

She does not hear me approach.

The cell phone rings.

The neighbor’s radio blares.

The screeching of the brakes as another car whizzes past the window reminds us both of a whirlwind world just outside the door.

“It is not like it used to be, is it?” she softly asks me.

“No Gram…times have changed.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what happens. Change is a part of life”

Silence.

Creak. Crack. Creak. Crack. The rocking chair continues its lullaby.

The clock mounted on the wall continues its chime.

And the car that races by the window continues to call out in a screeching madness.

“It’s not like it used to be, is it.”

Her gray-blue eyes look up for a moment and catch my own. Her firm stare forces me to return it. For a moment, she forgets her sewing, her rocking, the flickering of the light upon the wall….all is forgotten as she stares at me.

Then just as suddenly, her gaze returns to her work and all continues as before.

Somehow, I feel a rush of shame that my simple answer was not a suitable one. Somehow I feel that, by her simple remark, her simple reminder, her simple rebuke…. That somehow I have been sucked into a world of madness, just like the rest of the “precious Youth.” And somehow, I have failed to learn the lesson she tried to teach me.

photography

"When God closes a door..........

....Somewhere He opens a window." --Helen Keller

"Be ye as little children....

...and you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven...."

seashore ponderings....

Its amazing how fast life goes by when you stop paying attention. When you're 6, all you can dream about is what you're going to be when you grow up. When you're 10, you've decided that to be a ballerina would be the most magical thing in the world. When you're 13, you've reached the mysterious age of a teenager and you've decided that a ballerina is no where near as mature and practical as being a doctor or a missionary. When you're 16 you dream of what life will be like when you're out of high school. When you're out of high school and settled into college, you no longer have time to even dream. And life just keeps rolling by until you come crashing into summer break and realize, you have more time on your hands than you ever remember knowing what to do with. Eventually you stop dreaming of what you're going to be when you grow up and start worrying what will happen now that you are grown up. What decisions are you going to make? Will they be the right decisions and how will they affect your life? One wrong move, will it destroy everything you've worked so hard to get to? And where exactly are you heading anyway?

Maybe its the salt air drifting from the sea that makes one so thoughtful. Maybe its the gentle pounding of the waves as they drift onto shore. Maybe its the soft calling of the seagulls as they coast above in the clear blue sky. There's something altogether calming and soothing when you stand at the edge of the rocky sand and try to look beyond the horizon. Try to see past the thin blue, hazy line where sea greets sky, colors blending together until its hard to distinguish which belongs above and which belongs below. You can't see beyond the horizon no matter how hard you look. You'll only confuse your eyes with images you think appear that really don't exist.

That's the way life is. You can't look too far ahead, you'll only confuse your soul. You'll confuse your mind and everything in between. You can't plan your life. Life happens, whether you're ready for it or not. Life keeps going whether you want it to or not. And the ones that stand still and try to peer beyond the horizon instead of setting sail and facing whatever lies ahead, will be trapped in that thin line of confusion, unable to decide which direction to head. You eventually find yourself at the crossroads, exactly where you've always dreamed to be, yet never realizing it. That 6 year old, or 10 year old or even that high school student---they're not dreaming of WHAT to be when they grow up. They're dreaming of the moment WHEN they grow up. And I'm not quite sure anyone, in reality, is prepared for that.